Monday, February 23, 2015

Pregnancy, Labor, and Delivery in Pictures

I'm trying frantically to get caught up on the blog (rather extremely unsuccessfully). Here is the pregnancy, labor, delivery, and recovery in pictures (the post about the birth story was just sooooo long!).

(the story would probably be better if the pics were a smidge better-just enough to speak for themselves-but I will have to interpret :). )

 Pregnancy: 40 weeks of feeling like this.  (left side: (in case you cannot interpret) you are just beginning the long descent (or fall) down into Hades, where you apparently must travel to retrieve your tiny person.

Sciatica: it is like being electrocuted or shocked with a cattle prod every time you bend over (which is all the time), or lie down. Left side, in case you cannot tell, those are legs in the air as the person tumbles downward.

so the long trek to Hades ends with a fall off the cliff onto razor sharp stalagmites (actually they are little spears disguised as stalagmites to lure carefree travelers to take the jump). Imagine the little points are embedded into the body-that is what my mind conjured up but, sans artistic talents, you have to make-believe a bit.

Isn't it hilarious when you get a SUPER STONG epidural AFTER you give birth? I bet the nurses heaving the dead weight off the stretcher onto the bed thought so. hahahahahahahaha!

You cannot leave Hades until you have endured physical violence against your personage. (In other words, hemorrahaging is treated rather aggresively.) At least the major epidural came in handy :)

24 hours later you will have to get out of bed. ps-those are shark infested waters. It turns out, the simplest daily routines become horrifically monumental!


 Still climbing (9.5 months later). (Actually today was surprisingly good so maybe I am getting close to the surface.)

 a) that is a table, b) when O asks this-it might be me that turns into a man-eating shark :)

 The End.

1 comment:

Linnae said...

Even the stick person version sounds awful! Sorry you had such a terrible time with it all!