Fashion advice from someone wearing a snuggie: The Royal Wedding part 1

Here we are (not at the royal wedding).
This was the Queen's birthday celebrations and it was so much fun!
A big part of my birthday celebrations (as you know I am celebrating for 26 days straight) has been keeping up on the Royal Wedding. I was glued to the TV from 11:30 pm to 5:45 am on the big day, and have watched reruns all weekend- it was just such a fabulous affair. After weeks of reading about the people involved, I feel like we are friends and I've started referring to them by just their first names :). In case some of you have been out of the loop-I thought I'd compile some of the most fun moments and pictures.
Here is the first, of several, posts on the Royal Wedding Extravaganza

Words to a few guests on their fashion (or lack thereof):
Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie
First off: Beatrice, my mom wants to know why you have antlers. This "hat" makes no sense at all. (I do not know what Philip Treacy was thinking.)
Next: Eugenie, whoever told you that outfit looked good should be fired. The neckline has turned you into a big-busted square and there is something majorly wrong with your hem. Congrats on choosing a better hat than Beatrice, but, I'm still not going to bid for it when Fergie sells it on ebay.
However, I will not be too harsh on you two, after all, I have seen what some of my own sisters deem as "appropriate" party-wear when left without my mother's sage advice.
Chelsy Davy:
I'm sure you are busy at the law firm and all but for the next royal function, wake up early enough to do your hair. Things might be different out on the Savanna but in London, it is simply expected that Harry's on again/off again girlfriend does so. PS: I don't know how you have made one of my all time fav designers, Alberta Ferreti, look so un-couture. Again, you and Eugenie must consider your necklines.

Philipa: you look good (for a commoner). J/k-You have proved that commoners can (and do) look better than royalty more often than not. Your dress fits perfectly and the buttons are wonderful.

Whoever you are: the cowl neck is bizarre. End of story.

Lady Sophie:

So glad that someone knows how to wear a hat. You look fabulous.

Sally Bercow:

I can only assume you thought you were headed to interview for a position as a somewhat scandalous secretary and were as surprised as all of us when you walked into a church for a wedding. Just try not to bend over too far.

Princess Letizia of Spain:

You look like a doll. The dress is feminine and lovely.

The Beckhams:
David-you are wearing your medal on the wrong side of your suit, but, you still look dashing.
Victoria-you have come along way from the Spice Girls. Look great for the most part. Interesting idea to slick your hair back into a face-lift (I'll try that when I get a little older), the hat is testing Newton's theory on gravity, I'm extremely disappointed in the shoes you had Christian Louboutin design for you-they are boring.

Next up: the gorgeous wedding dresses!!!