So, I have a two family members, one we'll call Billy and one we'll call J. Now J really wants Billy to get a job this summer. Specifically, J wants Billy to work at the Nordstom Sale. J has taken it upon himself to see that it happens. He has called her himself, and enlisted the support of all other family members. I myself received a call with strict instructions to get Billy to pick up her application immediately and also with a warning to keep all communication between us secret. (I think it might be too much to hope that Billy would not connect everything)
My question is, what is J's interest in the matter? Does he want something from Nordstroms for 30% off the sale price (tempting now that I think of it) But I just cannot seem to believe that is it. He is going to too much work for that. It is something more, I just cannot put my finger on it, I'll have to keep thinking.
Let's go back to poor old Billy. Billy now has been off for several months and has just calmed the yearning in her heart to come home. Now, only a week into her sabbatical from life, she is being pestered from all sides to get a job.
As far as I can tell, there are several problems with this plan.
problem 1: Billy has three options for transportation: 1-roller blades 2-bicycle 3-hiring a chauffeur (4-depending on K for rides to and from work. As K has taken to spontaneously jaunting about the country and driving Johnny to Dance, this is just not a realistic option)
For those of you who know Billy, you are thinking, maybe ax the roller blades. The chauffeur is also going to be ridiculously expensive (I looked it up on google). This leaves the bike. Fortunately the distance is short, otherwise, she might die of heat stroke before she made it to her place of employment. (However she might just die of embarrassment when all the neighbors-who drive to work-pass her pumping the pedals and wonder what she is up to). I have never seen bike racks at the mall so where she will store the bike is left to be seen.
problem 2: Billy has never had a job before:
I suppose I had better explain, this is not quite what it seems. Billy has worked before, she has worked hard in school, she has worked to build houses on the SIMS game, hey she has even worked out. It is simply that she has never gone to work-a place with a break room and other employees and taxes etc. (though one summer Johnny, Bill, and I created a break room right in our house where we ate lunch and watched general hospital 5 days a week)
Billy has been both self employed (piano teacher) or parentally employed (house keeper, driver, cleaner, chef, gardener) most of her life. With these two special types of employment, she has enjoyed a great deal of freedom. I am sure she will find a more typical employment confining and stifling.
problem 3: J is insisting that Billy come out to visit him this July, but how can Billy do this and work at the same time? -this ones a real conundrum.
problem 4: What will happen to Thursday dinner?
Now, we all congregate at the house for Thursday dinner, which is prepared by Billy. If Billy works, what will we eat? We will have to revert to the old days which will end with us as cannibals in the county jail, and also in the National Enquirer (on the bright side, I may be allowed to purchase that edition-seeing as how F seems to disapprove of the paper, I am forced to only read the tidbits I get in at the grocery check stand.)
problem 6: Who will Johnny play the SIMS with?
Without Billy, Johnny will have to play the SIMS by herself. on a more serious note, without Billy, there will be no one to play the WII with Luke and Seth!
problem 7: The plants:
With K constantly jetting off, watering the plants has fallen on Billy (more of a task than you think) Unless K plans to hire her South African Tree expert to design a desert friendly yard, let nature take its course (25% of everything will be dead-though at the rate things have been going, this might be an improvement) , or unless F can teach the lawn a lesson in water conservation those plants have to be watered.
problem 8: Billy already has a job.
Billy has a job, it is to be available to do things for everyone else. I call her and she teaches piano for me. Boo calls and she babysits. K calls and she drives Johnny to dance. F calls and she tests pool water. J calls and she talks on the phone to him. If Billy gets a job, we will have to do our jobs ourselves! The whole house will fall apart. It will be back to dinner from Johnny's easy bake oven (small portions let me tell you) and complete, supreme, chaos!!!!!!!!!!
I should mention here that Billy is actually the house keeper (a major task to keep this household running smoothly. (which I know as I did it myself for several years)) So she is legitimately employed.
overall: I am not sure if Billy should get a job or not (I am still enticed by the 30% discount)
beyond that, I am not sure if Billy will get a job or not. I will keep you posted on the matter.